In this episode of Oh Shoot, Cassidy reads through your Am I in the wrong? submissions, covering topics like lying to clients, making someone look ‘tan’, and manual mode. This is a photographer advice submissions!
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Okay, so before we dive into today’s episode, let’s catch up real quick. First of all, how is it March already?! I’m so excited for summer, it’s literally the highlight of my year. I have so many fun things planned. And I’m just ready for warm weather and sunshine. I just got back from shooting a wedding in Cabo (we stayed at the Sandos Finisterra, SO beautiful), and it was whale season, which I had no idea was even a thing. Like, I literally saw a whale rolling around in the shallow part of the ocean. Cutest barnacle bath ever.
The wedding was gorgeous too, they had a raised acrylic aisle over the sand and these really pretty sand designs leading up to the ceremony. So dreamy. Charlie and I are also about to leave for our annual cross-country road trip. This year we’re going back to White Sands (last time we had a tiny camper fire situation lol). And I have some shoots planned along the way. Oh, and it’s our 5-year anniversary soon! I actually decided to get a new ring, something a little more timeless and me. I’ll show you soon. ANYWAY, let’s get into the good stuff. Today’s episode is an Am I in the Wrong? Photographer advice submissions episode, and y’all… these stories are wild!
Photographer Advice Submissions Part #1
Submission: Am I in the wrong? I was doing a first look for a bride and groom and had my assistant bring the groom to the first look location, to get him set-up. When she got there, she called me to tell me there was a couple tanning in front of where the bride wanted to do her first look. For reference, This was at a hotel and she wanted the first look on the spa terrace (by the pool) but the pool was to the left and there was plenty of space for this couple to move.
Once I got down there, I walked up to the couple and said so nicely “hi! I have a bride and groom doing a first look, would you be okay with moving over just a smidge. You don’t have to, I’m just seeing if you’re okay with that” and he was like “WE ARE NOT MOVING”. I said “oh, okay” and then he snapped back and said “FINE” and I then said “are you sure? I’m so sorry” and he yelled “no you’re not”. I told him that he didn’t have to move and then he said just “SHUSH” and put his finger in my face.
Meanwhile, the wife was just sitting there reading her magazine and said “it’s okay”. He then started calling me names and I was just shocked. I was like “are you being serious? Or joking? You seriously don’t have to move” and this is where it got crazy. This man literally said “shut your f***** pie hole” and I was just dumbfounded. I snapped back and said “excuse me, do not talk to me that way. I am just asking nicely and you did not have to move” he gathered his stuff and left.
Then I moved their chairs out of the way and then walked up to get the groom and the groom said “how did that go?” I had tears at this point and had never been so disrespected in my life. Told him “not great but it’s fine” and then I grabbed the bride and moved on. Should I have told the hotel staff or the bride? I just kind of ignored it afterwards but that man was so disrespectful. Was I in the wrong for even approaching them since it was the pool area? I have no idea!
Cassidy: Absolutely not in the wrong. You asked nicely. You gave them the option to say no. You were calm and respectful, and this man clearly had something else going on. In the future, maybe check with hotel staff for backup. And no, I wouldn’t tell the bride — keep her happy and stress-free.
Photographer Advice Submissions Part #2
Submission: Am I in the wrong for saying I’m not available even though I actually am? My ex boyfriends fiancé reached out to me about photographing their wedding and I said I was unavailable. I actually had nothing that day I just didn’t want to do it.
Cassidy: NOPE. You are not in the wrong. You don’t owe anyone a reason. And you are allowed to protect your peace and say no. Especially in a situation as weird and uncomfortable as that!
Submission: Am I in the wrong for not paying my clients caterers for them. I have just started moving into more weddings from couples and seniors and have had my business official for a little over a year now. I had a client who signed their contract and sent in they’re questionnaire but hadn’t paid they’re deposit yet. The client reached out to me the day I was supposed to receive they’re deposit. And ask “ if I write you a check for $5000 can you pay our caterers $3000 of it because our bank won’t let us write more than 1 $5000 check in one day?” I said no and I wasn’t comfortable doing that and suggested them hiring a wedding planner to help with all that. They blocked me immediately.
Cassidy: Major red flag. This is a classic SCAM. You’re not a bank, you’re a photographer. You handled it perfectly by saying no and suggesting they hire a planner.
Photographer Advice Submissions Part #3
Submission: Am I in the wrong for not shooting in manual and only shooting in auto?
Cassidy: Oof. A little bit, yeah. I get it, manual mode is intimidating at first, but it’s essential for creative control and professional quality. Don’t be afraid to experiment and learn. Auto’s fine while you’re learning, but you can’t stay there forever.
Photographer Advice Submissions Part #4
Submission: Am I in the wrong for ghosting a “client”? This client has backed out of shooting 3 separate times. The 1st time, she paid a deposit but cancelled due to “change of plans”. The second time she inquired, she never placed the deposit after discussing time, date, and location details. The 3rd time she inquired, she never responded back to my initial email to her. I thought I was done with her but she inquired AGAIN. I was over with her shenanigans so I didn’t respond.
She then DM’d me on Instagram to ask if I got her inquiry. She submitted a couple days ago since she really wanted to book with me. I didn’t want to be rude so I sent over a proposal that expired within 2 days if she didn’t place the deposit. She emailed me 1 week later and said she never got the email to place the deposit and asked if I could resend it. I know this was a lie because Honeybook shows the exact time & date she opened my email. Honestly I want to block her. I fear she will retaliate and write a poor review. I’ll never respond to her again
Cassidy: You’re not wrong for ghosting her, and honestly? Blessing in disguise. That client would’ve been a nightmare. Trust your gut. You are allowed to protect your energy and time!
Submission: Am I in the wrong for thinking it’s not my responsibility to make people look tan? I did a shoot recently and after I delivered the gallery the girl said she loved them but asked if I could make her look less pale and less “white as a ghost” it honestly made me mad because I thought – if you want to look tan in your photos, get a spray tan!! Or self tan.
This girl WAS white as a ghost. Definitely no self tanner in sight. Did I tell her this though? No. I warmed up the photos as much as I could to give her a little color and sent the gallery off. I get changing skin tones and it’s not cool to make people look paler than they are and I do try to make my clients look tan but I can only do so much with what you’re giving me!
Cassidy: No, you are not responsible for altering someone’s appearance drastically. You can warm up tones slightly, sure, but you’re photographing what’s in front of you. If someone wants to look more tan, they need to prep before the shoot.
Submission: Am I in the wrong for charging extra for Sunday sessions?
Cassidy: Nope. You set your schedule, you set your prices. If Sunday work costs you extra time, energy, or takes away your rest day, it’s 100% okay to charge accordingly
Photographer Advice Submissions Part #5
Submission: Am I in the wrong for being upset about this situation? I shot this couples engagement photos and they mentioned possibly wanting to hire me for their wedding. I told them I had openings in October-when they were getting married. The session took place in July. In August she messaged me and asked about pricing and packages. She did not responded until October, 22 days before her wedding. She said she was ready to book. And I responded that I was no longer available because my husbands friends were getting married and we’d be out of town. I sent her a photographer that was available. She read my message and never responded.
Later on I find out she blocked me. 4 months later she leaves a nasty google review saying I cancelled her wedding. She did not sign a contract and no deposit was made. I have a feeling she was upset with who she hired for her photos. Can’t just hold dates with no confirmation, contract and deposit or I’d be completely booked out and also potentially lose out on tons of weddings and sessions. I responded to her Google review with all of the facts, dates and Google still won’t take it down. She also got her friend, who I never worked with and is also a small business owner, to leave me a bad review and Google won’t take it down. Am I in the wrong for not shooting her wedding?
Cassidy: This one gets a hell no. You didn’t cancel on her, she never booked you. You can’t hold a wedding date without a deposit and contract. The review is petty and wrong. I’m mad for you!
Submission: Am I in the wrong for handing in wedding photos late in going over 3 months
Cassidy: Unfortunately… yes. This is a client experience issue. If you’re that behind, it’s time to outsource editing or cut back on bookings. Turnaround time matters. Communication is key, and 3 months is just too long.
Photographer Advice Submissions Part #6
Submission: I was working at a charity event a couple months ago. The event was for an opera foundation where I live. I am not familiar with the culture surrounding opera other than the basic knowledge of expectations for dress and decorum. While I was taking photos during a performance in an intimate space, I was using my flash and my camera shutter was audible but not a distraction for the performers or the audience. I was feeling really good about my work until I looked over and saw a woman angrily motioning for me to stop pictures. Thought I had done something wrong or been disrespectful. I excused myself for a moment to evaluate if I was doing something I was not meant to.
After talking to a performer backstage, he reassured me that I was doing fine. I carried on, but my confidence was severely shaken still. As I was leaving the event, the woman who was upset with me was outside. She confronted me and asked if I had to “use that strobe”. She was referring to the flash. I replied graciously, “Yes, I use flash to ensure the quality of photos is consistent and look good.” Her response, in a terrible tone, “Well, I never would have come if I had known you would be taking pictures. You ruined the performance. I have a brain injury and strobe can affect me.” I was taken aback and in shock. This was also confusing considering she had seen me taking photos beforehand and I had taken multiple photos OF HER. Am I in the wrong?
Cassidy: You weren’t totally wrong, but you also weren’t totally right. Flash at performances is usually a no-go not just for ambiance but for safety (like medical conditions). You did the right thing by asking a performer if it was okay, but in the future, try to avoid flash for performances unless explicitly approved.
Submission: Am I in the wrong for how I handled this situation? A bride of mine never mentioned I couldn’t post her on social media until 3 weeks AFTER I delivered her gallery. I respected her wishes but lately noticed she had used the images on her platform and also put a filter over them. I blocked her and proceeded with posting them anyways.
Cassidy: I get the frustration, but if she told you not to post and didn’t sign a model release, you could be in legal trouble. Posting after blocking her is risky and can come off as petty. Protect yourself and don’t post without permission, even if it sucks!
Show Notes:
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